We often hear the jokes in passing about “mom brain.” Though sometimes meant to describe the fogginess felt when hormones + infant care are at their wildest, it also describes the neurological changes that occur when one becomes a mother. What researchers have been discovering, however, is that dad brain exists, too, and the more a father participates in the caregiving of his child, the more he is going to have both hormonal and neurological changes that will benefit him as a parent.

“…this suggests that fathers are made, not born: Time with infants is a key ingredient in building the fathering brain.” – Darby Saxbe (1)  

So how do we improve bonding and support fathers as they are “becoming.” Saxbe, a professor at the University of Southern California, conducted research that suggests that taking parental leave can help. This time allows the father to focus on his child and family, thus training his brain to undergo changes (neuroplasticity) that will benefit his parenting instincts going forward. Furthermore, fathers who take paternal leave report less of an increase in stress and fatigue, and their partners report less of an increase in stress and depressive symptoms. Maternal depression is the biggest predictor for paternal depression, so by reducing these symptoms for mom, dad is also benefitting. Read it here and here.

There is also an association between fathers who have received support from their partner and professional health staff and positive child-bonding, especially for 1st time dads. A study in Sweden found that both first time fathers and 2nd+ time fathers had less disruptions in infant bonding when they had support from their partners, however, first time fathers also showed positive outcomes in bonding when they had interactions with a child health nurse or midwife. The researchers suggested that 2nd+ time fathers need more tailored support from health professionals that specifically address their needs in order to increase child-bonding. Interestingly, both groups of fathers had increased bonding disruptions when they perceived that their support came from the internet. Read it here.

Let’s put this into practice with some do-able actions:

• Encourage dad to be involved in prenatal appointments, childbirth education classes, and ultrasounds so that infant bonding can begin early.
• Know your state’s parental leave laws.
• Dads, if you don’t have parental leave, get creative. It can also be a good time to practice your advocating and negotiating skills.
• If you do have parental leave, take it!
• Once baby is born, spend as much time co-parenting as you can. Spend time with your infant skin-skin- it’s not just for moms. If mom is nursing, find a task that you can take over. Bath time is a great place to start.
• Mom + Dad: Communicate with each other and make time every day to check in about the highs/lows/concerns. You will both benefit from the support of each other.
• Include yourself in all doctor’s appointments.
• Attend a program like ours! As shown in the Sweden study, 1st time fathers benefit when health professionals are able to offer them support, provide education, and answer questions. And as suggested, 2nd+ time dads need more personalized support that considers their unique needs.

More Resources:

• Center for Parental Leave Leadership
• Excellent article from the Harvard Business Review
• Parental leave laws by state
• City Dads Group

(1) https://www.nytimes.com/2021/11/08/opinion/paid-family-leave-fathers.html